Being a Girl…

You know how some girls just get it? They know how to apply makeup, how to shop for their body, how to wear perfume without suffocating everyone. Well I am not one of those girls.

My mum was never very girly. She was a tom boy and spent all her days in pants and oversized tshirts. I always thought she was huge…but she wasn’t, she just wore so much baggy. She didn’t own any make up at all, no hair dryer, no bath products other than soap and no facial products at all (apart from the samples her mum would send her).

My grandmama on the other hand considered being made up part of her job. As my mum had no make up, I had to learn how to apply it from my gran. This was a bit of a disaster as my gran wore stage makeup – orange pancake, heavy eyeshadow and bright coral lips and nails. She never even considered that I was as white as a ghost and my first foundation ended up being a dark orange based pancake makeup. I looked ridiculous….but I wasn’t sure what else to do. So I just stopped wearing make up.

My gran was also a chronic over wearer of perfume. I have always been really sensitive to smells and I felt constantly ill around her and her perfume. She also would reapply perfume before she got out of the car. A cloud of perfume in such a small space…urrggg.

side note: After she passed away my mum gave me all her nice sheets and towels as we had just moved into our first flat. It took almost two years of washing before I could no longer smell the perfume.

Next up on my girl role models was my step mum. She was more girly than my mum, and while looking back she wasn’t very good at applying make up, she was into facials and hair treatments and all the things I had longed to do with my own mum. The only problem was she hated me. I so desperately wanted a parent to love me, that unlike others who initially hate their step parent and then come around – I adored her and slowly learnt to hate her. She just couldn’t stand me. It was a lost cause.

So here I am at almost thirty and I can’t figure out pantyhose/tights (seriously how the hell do they stay up???). I can barely apply make up that doesn’t make me look like a hooker or a clown. Perfume baffles me – I own two bottles and never wear it. I am slowly figuring out how to dress … but thats it. Handbags? I don’t know how to match a handbag to my outfit/shoes. I don’t understand $1500 bags. I struggle to apply nail polish. I have no idea what to do with my frizzy mop of hair. But whats worse than not knowing all of that…is I have to teach my daughters how to dress for their bodies and age (not what the skanky kids at school are wearing), how to apply make up to suit them, how to figure out tights and everything else. (another note – I have never had any desire to make my girls into perfect little princesses who dress perfectly and act extremely feminine – I just want to be able to guide them when it is time and they decide they want to go in that direction. I fully accept that my beautiful ten year old may never want to stop wearing pants or start wearing make up I love her just as she is)

This is the main purpose of project:girl. To get answers. To get help. To finally learn how to be a girl.

project:girl

 

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4 thoughts on “Being a Girl…

  1. LOL… I don’t ‘get it’ either. I never got it, and wished I did throughout my childhood. I think it’s because my grandmas and Mum couldn’t teach me, and I was the eldest child. I’m jealous of my youngest sister, who had 3 older sisters to learn from. She gets it. She is one of those girls who effortlessly looks amazing and feminine.

  2. So glad I am not the only one! I have three brothers so I didn’t have a chance there either. When I did get make up my brothers used to steal it and draw with my lipstick or pretend to be clowns…or even dress up like girls (though they will deny that ever happened…same as they “didn’t” cry when I gave away all my barbies). Yup my brothers were more feminine than I was!

  3. Until about few years ago, I was really shy and didn’t wear much make up becaue I didn’t want to stand out. Then I decided that I don’t care what anyone thought and it’s the best thing I ever did for my self-esteem.
    Have a look at http://www.youtube.com/user/emilynoel83 for some make up tutorials, she has lots of tutorials on how to apply foundation, eyeliner, shadows, bronzer, blush etc.
    It’s never too late to learn 🙂

    Ms Jelena xx

    • Thanks so much! Youtube and the girls at the bloom counter in Myer are the only reason I wear any make up at all today. But I want to learn more. The other issue I have is I have to wear glasses and when I take them off I can barely see…so when I apply eye make up I am ok on one side (with my good eye open) but the other side is usually a disaster as I have to close my good eye. Add that to mild hand tremors from my meds and eyeliner is completely out of the question. So I am going to look at getting contact lenses just for applying make up LOL. But thanks so much for that link am off to check it out now.

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