Sigh

Today was not the day it was suppose to be.

Firstly I barely slept. Which meant I was in a foul mood when I had to get up to go to the doctors.

Secondly, as I do every morning, I checked my news feed. There has been a number of anti homeschool articles written lately, most of them ill informed and having no idea what they are talking about. But this morning I woke up to a news story on home birth. A beautiful mother lost during childbirth…but that wasn’t the news article. It was mainly anti home birth bullshit, followed by a million comments, also by people who have never researched the statistics on their own, saying it was her own fault. Even if you take out the fact that home birthing with a qualified midwife, during a “routine” and “normal” pregnancy is just as safe as a hospital birth and that it has been more than a decade since a maternal death with a home birth and that maternal deaths happen at hospitals at an occurrence of 8.4 in 100 000 births…..it is just tacky, tacky, tacky to be commenting about how she was asking for it….her husband is grieving, her children are grieving. It is a tragedy, but is it any more of a tragedy than the women who die after complications from unnecessary caesarian and other “routine” hospital practices so that doctors (and mothers) can better schedule their lives?

Side Note: I Have had all of my children in hospital. I was planning on having my 3rd baby at home, but finding out I was having twins meant I was without a choice as no midwife in my area would have risked it. I won’t get into the amount of shit I got from doctors and hospital staff because I choose not to have a caesarian unless it became medically necessary. I believe there is a place for both hospital and home births, the same way I believe that there is a place for school and homeschool.

Still fuming about the news and ranting all the way to the doctors we then sat in a waiting room for almost an hour before being seen. They kept slipping people in front of us as “otherwise they will have to wait til all 6 of you have been seen” – which is fine if it was one person….but it was 3…and all of them came over an hour later for their own appointments.

Finally we are seen and I start though my list. The twins major flare up with eczema is brushed off and even though I am almost certain it is dietary, he refuses to give me a referral so we can look into any possible food allergies.

My eldest daughter was then brushed off for every single item on her list of concerns, including one that has her seeing stars when she gets up. A family history of iron deficiency hitting just before/around puberty was ignored and he had no desire to investigate any further. An 11 year old should not be seeing stars or spots when she gets up.Her ears didn’t look infected so even though she has started yelling again and is complaining of sore ears (a sign she has an infection – she goes deaf) it was blown off.

But the real kicker was for our middle daughter. For those that may not know what a mental health plan is – it is a medicare initiative that allows a high rebate on up to 6 psychology appointments. Up until this point it has always been free. Today I was told it would be $230. He no longer bulk billed those. We need a mental health plan to get rebates back for her autism assessment. We couldn’t afford the mental health plan today, which means we can no longer afford the assessment we have waited 3 months for which was suppose to start on Tuesday. I sat there in absolute tears. Which then he took as I wasn’t coping well off my medication and wanted to put me back on anti depressants.

Even better than that, when I asked him if anyone else in the area bulk billed mental health plans he proceeded to tell me about one of his patients who went to someone else for a mental health plan and the new doc requested her file. He then ranted about how betrayed he was and how he would never see that patient again….so now I feel completely blackmailed in that if I try to go elsewhere, after 8 years as a patient, he will stop seeing me.

He agreed to lower my medication, he took some bloods and I was on my way. Feeling totally shocked and devastated at someone I have put my absolute trust in for the last 8 years. I feel absolutely sick. I have spent the last 8 years raving about my GP and in that very instant I knew I needed to find a new one.

On the way home I ranted about any time I get upset about anything everyone assumes it is because of my mental illness. Apparently when you have a mental illness every time you get upset, too happy, cry, scream ect. it is only because of that reason. You couldn’t possibly have anything real to be upset/angry/happy about.

Of course once I get home I start twitter ranting about the home birth thing, only to have someone call me uneducated and unarticulate (is that even a word???) because I support the option to home birth and reject the knee jerk reaction that is to ban home births or that they are incredibly unsafe. Being uneducated I decided to block her rather than get into a debate (who called those who choose to not immunise “feral hippies” – I do immunise, but again I understand why many don’t). Just as I was starting to calm down I wandered onto the extremely religious homeschool forum (that I occasionally visit for the amazing second hand classifieds when I buy my curriculum sometimes as 20% of the cost…not 20% off).

Once I started to calm down the girls dad informed me that our local medical centre will bulk bill the mental health plan. Which made me more mad that he wouldn’t do it and even madder because I had just rescheduled our assessment appointments for April.

So all in all – a fucking shitty day.

Jobs for tomorrow (today is a write off….anything beyond eating ice cream and watching gossip girl is in the too hard basket)

  1. Start making appointments for GP’s in the area so I can find a new one for me….this must be done BEFORE my script runs out.
  2. Book 10yo in for a mental health plan with a dr. that is willing to bulk bill
  3. stay away from News articles…but more importantly the comments on said news articles
  4. steer clear of the fundamentalist christian homeschooling sites
  5. Enjoy the first local park day of the year (our very own “Not Back To School Party”) with the kids and my wonderful fellow homeschool mums who are so similar to me it’s crazy.

project:girl

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4 thoughts on “Sigh

  1. I don’t even know where to begin with this. It’s all such complete and utter crap – especially the specialist you had set up.

    Your dr is making me so angry and I don’t even have anything to do with it – what a jerk for saying all of that!

    So sorry you had to deal with this 😦

  2. that is absolutely not on for a dr to behave like that. in fact it is illegal for him to say anything to discourage you from seeking a second opinion. you could make an official complaint if you want to deal with all that…
    i’m so sorry it all went pear-shaped for you today…
    and i know it’s a hell of a long way, but there is an excellent female doctor here – a friend of mine – who would see you anytime if you need meds and can’t get anything better organised in a hurry.
    i had that low iron, seeing spots on standing up thing when i was in my early teens. also runs in mum’s family. amazingly, it cleared up once i became a vegetarian!

    • Thanks – I don’t think I am going to pursue it…I am just going to look for another GP. Thanks for the recommendation, if I don’t find someone local will let you know.

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