When I have exercised (half heartedly) in the past I really didn’t understand the endorphin thing people kept going on about. I clearly wasn’t pushing myself hard enough or for long enough or consistently enough for me to notice. Now…well now things are different.
I am now running about three times a week and exercising in some form or another at least five times a week. The hardest part is getting out of bed to start, but once I am going I not only love it…but the high that comes afterwards is amazing. If it’s been a few days (like it had been today) I get grouchy and grumbly and find everything and everyone annoying. I feel like a different person afterwards. My iphone app has little icons to press after the run to show how you feel and every time the smiley face just isn’t enough…I need a big giant goofy grin.
I haven’t done much this week as I was recovering from last week…ballet concert, birthday party, my mother in law (urg) and our 13th dating anniversary. We had play dates and excursions and given that the concert and Miss 11’s birthday were not something I could opt out of (like I often do with excursions and park day) I was left completely wiped. So I rested. And rested some more. Then the weather has been shit…so every time I would grab my runners it would start to rain and I would wuss out and go back under my doona.
Today was the last straw though…I had to get out of the house. I had to go for a run. it finally stopped raining and the blue sky came out so I raced out the door. Two minutes into my warm up and it was sprinkling…by the time I started running it was pouring. I was warm enough thanks to exercising and in the end it was incredibly refreshing. I knocked out 3km in 30 minutes and came home looking like a drowned rat….with a beet red face. I’m still smiling though.
In just two weeks I have slowly increased the time I can walk and run. I am covering more distance in a shorter period and my heart rate seems to be going lower each time…so I guess I am getting fitter. I keep worrying about hurting myself as I am almost blind without my glasses and have really bad depth perception so I run back and forth on the concrete path at the local park. I must look (and sound) like a mad woman walking 150m turning around and coming back over and over and over again but I can’t run on new terrain without being terrified of falling over. In the past when I have tried to run I have also come down with shin splints pretty quickly but now that I am 20kgs lighter (I cracked the 20kgs lost mark on Wednesday) and have proper running shoes that doesn’t seem to be an issue. My left knee clicks sometimes…but by the time I have warmed up and am into my second run it seems to have stopped…maybe it just needs the warming up.
With all the exercise I am doing I have added back in carbs. Not a lot, I am still keeping to under 100g of carbs a day (the carb amount per serve, not the weight of the serve itself) and trying to make sure most of that is no starchy fruit & vege. But I will eat a piece of bread every few days and have fallen back in love with beans and pumpkin…were chickpeas always this amazing?
I have disengaged with the CAT team and they have handed over to my GP…who I still haven’t seen as she keeps calling in sick (how dare she). I have gone a few days without antidepressants with no side effects (but I only took them for a few days). I have gone back to being religious with my vitamins and salmon oil and after reading more about treating bipolar naturally I have started a therapeutic dose of vitamin D3 on top of the multivitamins and the salmon oil (10g a day). I am still on my winning streak of sleeping….I think I am onto day 12 in a row now. I haven’t gotten up later than 10am in a week. Not only am I going to sleep, but I am waking up refreshed. It has been about twenty years since I have slept and woken up refreshed. I stopped believing it was possible. Not surprisingly…my mood has had a remarkable upturn since sleeping consistently. Every single night I turn off my computer by 9pm at the latest, take my sleepers and then get in a hot cleopatra bath, listen to jazz until I the sleepers kick in and then I go to bed and listen to a sleeping meditation app. I am rarely awake by the end of the app and the hubby has to come in and switch on my white noise machine for me.
So here I am. Lighter. Fitter. Happier. Healthier. Awake.
onwards and upwards